Lately I have been challenged to look at the conflict between duty and desire in my life. What is Christianity really all about? Is it simply a set of rules to live life by? Is the good Christian the one who lives life dutifully never saying no to ministry related activities and always being there for everyone in their church including their family, friends, and acquaintances?

Living life simply out of duty is disastrous to who we are as Christians. Yet, this is how I find myself living my life. Quite honestly I’m tired of it. I’m worn out from trying to make sure I’m doing everything right. I’m worn out from caging my own desires deep within me so that I can do what I perceive to be the ‘right’ person.  In doing that, I’ve caged a big part of who I am in my core.

Was it not Christ who said he came so that we might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10)? I don’t think my life sucks, but I am not convinced I’m living in that ‘abundant’ part Jesus tells us he offers.

So I’m on a new mission. I’m on a mission to explore the life God has for me and to abandon the life I have projected onto myself which I once believed to be the ‘good Christian life.’  I’m sick of being good! I simply want to be John, and to be the full, abundant John that God intended from the beginning of time.

How about you? What is your desire?