Dear Esposa, Without delving too much into the psychology of myself: I fear. I remember in premarital counseling Ron recommending I read the book ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’. That’s certainly symptomatic of the deeper me. However, I’m realizing you help me be, little by little, be brave. I’ve heard it said bravery […]
Small Surprises
Last week Hijo rediscovered a number of stickers he’d forgotten about. He awarded me one. A thick puffy one of a buffalo. At the time I was wearing my yellow hoodie I reserve for chilly evenings. He proudly attached it to my chest, and I carried on with my night. Last night I felt chilly […]
Growing Forward
Dear Hijo, I feel anxious. I feel scared for you to go to kindergarten. So many fears boil up within me when I sit and think about things to come. And so many fears haunt me from the past five years of your life. However, I choose to continue to engage and stay present with […]
How I’d Treat My Own Child
Today I realized I made a big mistake in our budget over the last five months. I failed to update an expired debit card for our automatic tithing. This means I have not donated ten percent of my salary for nearly half a year. Which in my world in a big deal. I don’t know […]
Contentment
God has really been challenging me to live life contently. This is so tough for me. I am engrossed by the consumerism culture we live in. I constantly find myself thinking about cars I’d like to have, homes I’d like to live in, new gadgets I want, prestigious and high paying jobs I’d love to […]
Brothers, What Then Shall We do?
I recently have been dealing with a difficult truth. I easily get so entangled in my own theological world that I completely lose my heart for God. There it is. I often love knowledge more than my Lord and Savior. I’m not the only one who makes this mistake or has done so in the […]
All For Ourselves and One For All
I’ve been reading a book on a missionary movement that has developed within the Chinese Church called the Back To Jerusalem Movement. This movement is a vision to evangelize to the countries between China and Jerusalem that are inundated with Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism. This vision is worth talking about in itself, but one thing […]
Duty or Desire
Lately I have been challenged to look at the conflict between duty and desire in my life. What is Christianity really all about? Is it simply a set of rules to live life by? Is the good Christian the one who lives life dutifully never saying no to ministry related activities and always being there […]
And the Grief Goes On
Originally written March 18, 2106 A week ago (literally while I write this) my Esposa miscarried our daughter. No one told me it hurts dads to lose a child by miscarriage. I always assumed the pain from this type of event was felt by the woman, not the man. It turns out that’s a lie. It […]
Not What, but Who
Today I came upon a new realization. I am a driven person. I strive to meet this goal or fulfill that person’s wish. I often find myself asking the question “what?” What can I do to help you? What is the right choice in this situation? What is my role in this? What would be […]